"F.A.Q." is a misleading title but the one that is the most appropriate for this kind of page. Most of the questions below weren't submitted but are there for informational purposes. Really, it's more of an "about" page, but let's have fun with it anyway.

Of course, if there's a question you'd like to see, contact me using the e-mail address or the tagboard on the main page.

Q. Who? What? When? Where? Why? How?

A small group of college students. if then else. Now. Somewhere in the United States. Entertainment, time travel, dimensional hopping and adventure. Magic.

Q. Can you be more specific?

I could, but then that would be spoiling things. Go read the comic. If you must have a full synopsis, check out The Guide.

Q. The comic for today isn't up and/or CG is down. What's up with that?

There are a variety of reasons for this happening. If I've missed a comic or the comic will be late, you'll be informed through the news section of the main page or the tagboard. If CG is down, you can go to the backup website.

Q. There's a copyright notice? Are you telling me people are stealing random webcomics?

You'd be surprised. The notice is there in the event some random internet surfer decides to hotlink or otherwise lay claim to something I put my heart and soul into. I can then sick my genetically engineered lawyers on them. I spend a lot of time on this hobby of mine, so please be considerate and don't steal from it.

Q. What inspired if then else?

Two things: General Protection Fault - the Comic Strip and differential equations, that oh-so-fun™ mathematics course required for a computer science degree. I had been reading GPF for about 6 months and was throughly hooked, causing me to doodle here and there in my spare time. One (fateful?) day in class, the lecture was boring enough to induce spontaneous doodling in the margins of my notebook. What I ended up with were three characters - Todd, Professor Mallory, and Roger Wilco. From there, the doodles increased until I decided to make the jump to drawing a full comic.

Q. Where are the characters located?

Somewhere in the continental United States. To give a specific location would ruin the mystery. Besides, they might live next door to you! (And, if that is the case, run. Far.)

Q. Who are you?

You're going to ask, "Why are you here?" next, aren't you? I'm just one of the many, many cartoonists online. I go by the online handle "Fading Aura", or just "Aura". Call me either one.

Q. Okay, I'll bite. Why are you here?

Without going out of your door, you can know all things on Earth.
Without looking out of your window, you can know the ways of heaven.
The farther one travels, the less one knows.
The less one really knows.

Q. That's poetic. Is that something you made up?

Q. When you're up, you're up. When you're down, you're down. But what if you're only half-way up?

You're neither up nor down. But don't lose your grip. That's one loooooooooooooong first step!

Q. Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?

France. Or Mexico. It always seems to be one of those two for some reason . . .

Q. Who would win in a fight - Kirk or Picard?

That depends - are they fighting each other? If not, they both will always win - they're the good guys (or so we're told). If so, my money's on Kirk. Just look at what happened during the finale of Generations.

Q. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

A woodchuck would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck wood. For a more definitive answer, you might want to ask Jeff.

Q. Can you hear me now?

Not through this webpage. Refresh and try again.

Q. Boxers or briefs?

Why are we comparing dogs and legal documents?